californiaxlove

im delusional, sleep deprived, sad, angry, all of the above


so just thought i'd share a random thought i had the other day.


...



I find it absolutely mind blowing that during just a 13 year gap in time, “the world” has changed so incredibly much, and mainly negatively. Thirteen years ago, of course I wasn’t allowed to do anything too outrageous, but I definitely had a lot more opportunities to explore and experience the world than my six year old niece has today. It is crucial for a person to be able to escape their “home” boundaries, even at a younger age. By stepping outside of what is known and expected, one is able to see everything that they don’t know. Ultimately, this can contribute to the person having much more successful relationships with other people later on in life. By stepping out of the comfortableness, you are able to see others’ views much more clearly. Not only can you hear and see what other people think and do, but you may develop a more clear understanding of why people do the things they do. By staying sheltered, everything that is not normal to you becomes abnormal, misunderstood, and you may even consider it wrong. In reality, these things are likely to not be abnormal or wrong at all. Despite the country’s seemingly increasing tolerance for the “different,” the next generation of Americans is being forced to stick to what they know. Without even a look at the outside world, how can these kids even begin to know that not only is it okay for others to have different opinions, but it is normal and necessary for others to think differently. In addition to a possible decrease in tolerance, these kids are being denied the knowledge that they should think outside of the box and question everything. Is the world really that bad? Or are we trying to turn America back into what it used to be—a one-sided, racist, ignorant, and standardized nation?

my birthday was on thanksgiving,

( of course i went to canada the night before. )


bye bye

you make love
you break love
it's all the same
when it's over

i've realized that the world basically begins between 6 and 7 a.m.

i think that's why i like staying up all night; the whole world is asleep?

If i had to name one category of things that are the worst things in the world, I would probably say drugs.


Clearly, I am aware of aids, poverty, war, and everything else.


Drugs are a choice.
They seem like a good idea.


But they will break you.

school sucks


and


everything sucks

moving back to east lansing on thursday

wowwwwwwww

withdrawal kicks my butt.

i have to bitch about something and its 3 in the morning so this is basically the only place i can haha.

well

i'm getting another tattoo probably within the next two weeks and i've always heard people say "are you really gonna want that when you're older?"


and i hate that question.


the thing is, i'm NOT "older" and i won't be "older" for a really long time, if i even live that long. how do you or i know how long i will live. we can't give a definite answer to that.

tattoos always tell a story and always make you think of that time in your life. what else can make you do that, what else can make you go back to that time and remember exactly what you were feeling and what you were going through? --nothing. Sure, you can write down your feelings, keep a journal and a scrapbook. But that can be lost, those things can be damaged and be gone forever.


Art is resistance.


resist.

wow i was just reading old entries from the time when my mom died, and wow.

i have just blocked all of that out of my life, probably with new friends, college, alcohol, pills, and pot.


it's so weird to me that the friends i have now have no idea what happened to me. like seriously, no fucking clue.


i just told my fucking best friend a few weeks ago what actually happened.
she had no fucking clue.


it really makes me appreciate the friends i had then.
mostly lindsay jenelle and allison.
thank you.


and it just plain freaks me out.
like, that really happened?
no shit?

chicago was amazing.

lucky boys confusion were amazing.


my friends are pretty amazing.

Your memories are shared by hundreds of thousands of other people in this world. Birthday parties, high school graduation, your wedding. That’s why you need to do something different. Something new. Something to distinguish your memories from the memories of someone else.


thats my thought of the day

memo to everyone:


DON'T DRIVE LIKE AN ASSHOLE.


yeah, i got in an accident again.


NOT my fault. AGAIN.


hooray.

just finished my first year at michigan state university.


i just feel like crying.


i've made sooo many friends, people i consider to be good friends, that i will lose touch with and never talk to again.


i know that next year will be exactly the same, just new faces and names.

but, they won't be the people that i met this year.


(trust me none of them even come close to replacing my friends from home)


and i know that when august rolls around, i'm gonna have an entry that says "i don't wanna go back i love my friends."


i suppose thats all i have to look forward too.


i will just be bartending at red lobster all summer.

bummer.

sooo basically all i do is sleep all day
and stay up all night





i can see the problem here.




i might be a vampire.

May George W. Bush drink the blood of every single man, woman, and child in Iraq!

i could die soon.

love.

i suck at college.



well, kinda.


but yeah, i do.





but there's a :) here.

We Spartans have descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that death in the battlefield is the greatest glory he could achieve in his life. Spartans: the finest soldiers the world has ever known.


Go Spartans!!!


that is all.